Author Topic: Funny jokes... (Read 1454 times)

Janescandy · « **on:** November 17, 2011, 05:58:06 AM »

Teacher: If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: No, listen carefully again. If I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: Let's try this another way. If I give you two apples and two apples and another two apples, how many apples have you got?
Patty: Six.
Teacher: Good. Now if I give you two rabbits and two rabbits and another two rabbits, how many rabbits have you got?
Patty: Seven!
Teacher: How on earth do you work out that three lots of two rabbits is seven?
Patty: I've already got one rabbit at home now!

« **on:** November 17, 2011, 05:58:06 AM »

serena85 · « **Reply #1 on:** November 17, 2011, 08:56:27 AM »

That is really a funny joke.

Jas · « **Reply #2 on:** November 18, 2011, 04:00:56 AM »

not so funny and new for me...

armondthomson · « **Reply #3 on:** November 18, 2011, 06:00:47 AM »

DAD: "Ok, so after every question i ask you you must say ketchup and rubber buns".

KID: Gotcha.

DAD: what did you buy at the store?

KID: Ketchup and rubber buns.

DAD: What did you have for dinner?

KID: Ketchup and rubber buns.

DAD: What do you do when an old lady crosses the street?

KID: Ketchup and rub....... HEY!

rooniboy · « **Reply #4 on:** November 20, 2011, 04:42:02 PM »

pakistani jokes are the best in world

carenchristopher · « **Reply #5 on:** November 21, 2011, 05:59:10 AM »

You know you're a redneck when you lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off it's wheels.

Janerichi · « **Reply #6 on:** November 21, 2011, 07:29:38 AM »

Blonde Shoots Herself
A blonde hurries into the emergency room late one night with the tip of her index finger shot off.

"How did this happen?" the emergency room doctor asked her.

Well, I was trying to commit suicide, the blonde replied.

"What?" sputtered the doctor. "You tried to commit suicide by shooting your finger off?"

"No, Silly!" the blonde said. "First I put the gun to my chest, and I thought: I just paid $6,000.00 for these breast implants, I'm not shooting myself in the chest."

"And then?" asked the doctor.

"Then I put the gun in my mouth, and I thought: I just paid $3000.00 to get my teeth straightened, I'm not shooting myself in the mouth."

"And then?"

"Then I put the gun to my ear, and I thought: This is going to make a loud noise. So I put my finger in the other ear before I pulled the trigger."

meard421 · « **Reply #7 on:** November 21, 2011, 09:05:40 AM »

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Ronhall · « **Reply #8 on:** November 21, 2011, 12:37:37 PM »

Deep In the back woods of Tennessee, a hillbilly's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery. Since there was no electricity, the doctor handed the father-to-be a lantern and said, "Here. You hold this high so I can see what I am
doing." Soon, a baby boy was brought into the world.

Whoa there, said the doctor, "Don't be in such a rush to put that lantern down. I think there's another one coming." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered a baby girl. "Hold that lantern up, don't set it down there's another one!" said the doctor.

Within a few minutes he had delivered a third baby.

"No, don't be in a hurry to put down that lantern, it seems there's yet another one coming!" cried the doctor.

The redneck scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor, "You reckon it might be the light that's attractin' 'em?

barrickmark · « **Reply #9 on:** November 21, 2011, 11:28:53 PM »

A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight.

The guide told her, "This is our number one sport."

The horrified woman said, "Isn't that revolting?"

"No," the guide replied, "revolting is our number two sport."

Markanthony1 · « **Reply #10 on:** November 22, 2011, 12:46:05 AM »

An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.”
Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?”
The woman replied, “They help me sleep better.”
The doctor considered this for a second, and continued… “How in the world do birth control pills help you sleep?”
The woman said, “I put them in my granddaughter’s orange juice, and I sleep better at night.”

Cics · « **Reply #11 on:** November 23, 2011, 03:11:12 AM »

"I've already got one rabbit at home now".....
it's funny

ainsleychris · « **Reply #12 on:** November 23, 2011, 04:34:25 AM »

Banta to Lawyer: What is your fees?

Lawyer: Rs 5000/- for 3 questions.

Banta: Isn't it too high?

Lawyer: Yes, it is. What is your third question?

kristinaalford · « **Reply #13 on:** November 23, 2011, 05:31:24 AM »

All Out of Anaesthetic
A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled.

He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient's butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth extraction.

It all happened in an instant.

The nurse, patient, and pliers were in place. The signal was given, and the nurse bayoneted the patient with the needle just as the dentist yanked the tooth.

Afterwards, the dentist asked, "Hurt much?"

The patient hesitated, "Didn't hardly feel it come out. And, man, those roots were really deep!"

Jackvale · « **Reply #14 on:** November 23, 2011, 05:49:20 AM »

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming...
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

brianwilson · « **Reply #15 on:** November 23, 2011, 12:01:20 PM »

Little Johnny was sitting in class doing math problems when his teacher picked him to answer a question, "Johnny, if there were five birds sitting on a fence and you shot one with your gun, how many would be left?" "None," replied Johnny, "cause the rest would fly away." "Well, the answer is four," said the teacher, "but I like the way you're thinking."

Little Johnny says, "I have a question for you. If there were three women eating ice cream cones in a shop, one was licking her cone, the second was biting her cone and the third was sucking her cone, which one is married?"

"Well," said the teacher nervously, "I guess the one sucking the cone."

"No," said Little Johnny, "the one with the wedding ring on her finger, but I like the way you're thinking."

DawsonGabriel · « **Reply #16 on:** November 24, 2011, 01:12:13 AM »

Number One Sport
A woman, while touring a small South American country was shown a bullfight.

The guide told her, "This is our number one sport."

The horrified woman said, "Isn't that revolting?"

"No," the guide replied, "revolting is our number two sport."

tommyhill · « **Reply #17 on:** November 24, 2011, 12:00:53 PM »

A Sardar Doctor and Pundit loved same girl.
Pundit started giving an apple to the girl everyday.
Sardar Doctor asked: WHY ??
Pundit: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

abigilbrook · « **Reply #18 on:** November 25, 2011, 01:17:46 AM »

Laloo rang labor room of hospital to to know about his pregnant wife Rabri. By mistake he dialled the number of a cricket stadium.

Laloo: How's it going?

Reply: Fine, four are already out. The last one was a duck.

stephane24 · « **Reply #19 on:** November 25, 2011, 07:07:58 AM »

Naming the Twins
A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed.

Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side.

He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter.

But the hospital was in a real hurry to
get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you."

The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and asked with some trepidation, "Well, bro, what did you name them?"

Whereupon, his brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise."

The husband, relieved, said, "That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?"

The brother winked and replied, "Denephew."

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Author Topic: Funny jokes... (Read 1454 times)

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